One more week left at work before some time to catch-up, pare down, plan and not-plan, read, walk, run. Relax. Really looking forward to my month of freedom.
Living in the nation's capital, working for the nation, it seems a favorite dinner pastime of public servants is to rail against the foibles and frustrations of the day, mull over various escape plans, ponder alternate lives, then talk about how many years left before retirement. There's a whole industry out there too, selling secrets about how to leave your job and pursue your heart's content (just sign-up for this e-course, or buy this book....).
I believe the impetus for change happens in its own time (sometimes gently, sometimes violently) when the known becomes more uncomfortable than the unknown. Or when curiosity for the new becomes more appealing than the safety of the familiar. When you're ready, risks feel less weighty, there are no compelling reasons for holding onto inertia. You simply let go. You don't get to that place easily though, you've sat in your fair share of contradiction and striving and ambiguity. You've tried to make things work, thinking that it must be you who somehow needs to get better, get smarter, be nicer, be more patient and work harder, all the while haunted by vague notions of a better 'something else'. Then you realise it's not you who needs adjusting, nor is it even the situation you are in. When you simply let go to embrace change itself, suddenly all manner of things become possible again.
Your points about the known becoming more uncomfortable than the unknown or the new becoming more appealing than the safety of the familiar resonate deeply for me.
ReplyDeleteYes, there comes a point where sitting around and complaining about the situation is no longer interesting or productive. It is the point at which you realize resistance to change has been worn down or neutralized.
There's a formula for change related to this. It comes from research on change within organization but it works on an individual level.
The Formula for Change originally created by Richard Beckhard and David Gleicher, refined by Kathie Dannemiller:
D x V x F x CL > R
When the product of
Dissatisfaction with the ways things are now;
Vision of what is possible;
First, concrete steps that can be taken toward the vision;
Clear Leadership to navigate toward the vision (or when you, as an individual, have identified a strategy for change)
is greater than Resistance
Then change is possible.
There's a wikipedia page about it - https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Formula_for_Change
Thanks Zan, I LOVE your point about the connection between complaining and resistance to change. Whoa.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how the simple act of act of letting go and embracing the new has given me a spark again. A faint one, but it's there. The formula you mention is certainly a good tool for navigating new territory, I'll be putting that to the test :-)
I think your words here about personal and occupational change show a lot of insight. Good luck, Melinda - you have a lot of wisdom to draw upon. Love, Mary (Australia)
ReplyDelete